Top 100 Lists - My Opinion

Today I was reading an article on some website and somehow I landed on AskMen's top 99 women list. Don't ask me how, things just happened. And I also remember having seen the top 100 on FHM's list a few days back. It also just happened. I guess. Anyway. That's not the point. The point is the lists I've seen are not good at all. It's 2008, and there are some women on that list that don't belong and some women on that list rated too low. Well, it's time for another one of my opinion sessions. I'll start with women who were ranked pretty high but don't deserve it.

The longest middle finger to AskMen.com

Before I go into the list of women who deserve and don't deserve to be on any list of top women, I'd like to find the person who has the longest and thickest middle finger in the world. Then I'm gonna take that person to whoever approved the AskMen's top 99 women list and point that person's middle finger at their stupid faces till I'm happy. Why?

There was no Selma Blair or Charlize Theron on AskMen's top 99 list. Who the fuck in the right mind approved that? Selma Blair is insanely hot and so is Charlize Theron. Not worthy of a spot on the top 99? What the fuck. Who else didn't make the cut?

There was no Holly Valance, no Nicole Kidman, no Susan Ward, no Catherine Bell, no Rachel Stevens, no Jennifer Aniston just to name a few. They removed Britney Spears, fair enough. They removed Mariah Carey, fair enough. They removed Jennifer Lopez, fair enough. But, why the rest? So, who did they include in this crap fest?

The list of women that don't deserve top 100 status

1.) Jessica Alba - I know a lot of people are going to disagree with me on this, but Jessica Alba has truly outgrown her appeal. The whole Malaysian/Filipino/what not look is just not working anymore. Don't go out and do a Google search and look at her old pictures. Look at some of her newer ones. She doesn't look hot to me anymore, and definitely not hot enough to be in a top 5 spot.

2.) Beyonce - Just like Jessica Alba, but somehow this woman has gotten really worse over time. All her appeal is completely gone. The once hot Beyonce is now the transexual-looking Beyonce. Follow this link: Beyonce. Now, look at a couple of pictures of her and tell me, honestly, if you saw this woman on the street or if you didn't know Beyonce, tell me you don't think she looks like a man.

3.) Halle Berry - What are you kidding me? Still? She was hot like over 5 years ago. And 5 years back she was only moderately hot. I never understood what's so hot about her the way Ferdaus did.

4.) Heidi Klum - Looks really old now.

5.) Kim Kardashian - Apparently all it takes nowadays to get to stardom from minor celebrity status are fake tits and a home-made porno. She and Paris Hilton can go make another porno for all I care, and I still wouldn't find neither one appealing.

6.) Eva Longoria - WAY WAY WAY past her prime. Look at any of her recent pictures. Completely unattractive. Definitely not worthy of a top-spot. What is she even doing nowadays? Her whole appeal was playing a slut on Desperate housewives. Now she's just a housewife. Shut up, you feminists! I didn't say ANYTHING. I just said housewife.

7.) Alicia Keys - Beautiful songwriter. Why is she labeled hot, though?

8.) Shakira - Was was was. And only when she dances. She'd probably top my list of 'hot body weird face' women. Kirsten Dunst is right up there as well.

9.) Nicole Scherzinger - What the tranny fuck. Tranny Scherzinger. Dude. I seriously don't understand what the Pussycat Dolls' appeal is. There are, what, like 25 fucking women in that one group. What's the point? Only she sings anyway. And what a manly face. Why is 'she' even on a Top 99 list of women?

10.) Kate Moss and Keira Knightley are TOO SKINNY. They have NO MEAT whatsoever. They're both stick figures. How can they be considered hot? They're not slim.. they're just.. all bones.

11.) Lucy Pinder - I'd like to call this woman, the Miss Photoshopped. Tell me which part of this picture doesn't scream Photoshop? The picture looks like it was a tutorial for the airbrush effect.

12.) Cate Blanchett - Isn't there an age limit? Great actress but hottest woman? What the fuck.


The list of women that deserve a MUCH higher rank

1.) Jennifer Love Hewitt - She's been very inactive lately. We haven't seen much of her. But should her rank drop by so much? She was like 70-something I think. Seriously, she's way hotter than Eva Longoria and WAY more talented as well.

2.) Hilary Duff - No, seriously. If she forgets the whole good-girl nonsense, and let's loose a little, she's definitely be top spot worthy.

3.) Naomi Watts - What the fuck man. She was almost at the bottom of the list. You see any of her pictures and she's stunning. She's so beautiful and SO DOABLE - not a typo for adorable. Do-able. She deserves a much higher rank.

4.) Ivanka Trump - Forget her monetary assets - take a look at her bodily assets. Tall as fuck and very 'top heavy'. She deserves a MUCH higher spot.

5.) Rachel Weisz - Hey, fuck you. What?! She's HOT! Definitely way hotter than any of the unworthy women I highlighted earlier.

6.) Milla Jovovich - Yes, yes. Stick figure-ish. But still way hot. Attitude/Kick-Assery/Frequently Nude - whatever you wanna call it. She's somewhat very attractive.

7.) Ali Larter - She has SUCH a do-me face. How can men resist that look? Definitely worth a higher spot.

8.) Lindsay Lohan - See these pictures. Why is she not considered hot anymore? That's like top 10 quality man. Who cares about what she's going through in real life? Who cares about her lesbian relationship? That should actually be a plus point. I don't understand the editors of these websites. Lindsay Lohan, just as hot or hotter even.

9.) Angelina Jolie - I'm gonna say it now. If you don't find Angelina Jolie hot, you're gay. If you watched Wanted and didn't think Angelina Jolie is one of the most beautiful women walking the face of the Earth, you're gay. She was SO hot and SO beautiful in Wanted alone and she wasn't even trying to be sexy. What the hell man. You've gotta be at least bisexual if you're a guy and don't find Angelina Jolie hot. Don't talk to me about opinions.


So, yup. That's the list. I've written enough. Any thoughts, Ferdaus?